Sibling Sweeping Undocumented
I have discussed sibling rivalry from my previous post. Now, I wanted to highlight this type of relationship between sibling where one sibling compete while the other rejects the idea and intention to do so. Sibling Sweeper is a term coined by Dove Kickinger (yours truly) after various study and observation of sibling behavior. I came up with this term and conclusion. Sibling Sweeping is an act of a sibling that abuse or suppress the weaker sibling. Sibling Sweeper or the abusive party is the party who desire to gain more, then damage the other (weaker sibling or receiver). They sow hatred and bitterness to their sibling without justifiable reason and it is serious enough to raise concern. It appears that when face with a setting where people notice the weaker sibling the sweeper will manifest improper behavior. They might discredit the other to get sympathy from people. Their ability to lie, discredit, deceive and act in self-pity will made people believe them. This will distract other people from knowing the truth and what is really happening. The conflict and tension between the two that arises out of deception will be hard to reduce. Mostly the praises or attention given to the weak sibling is often accepted with difficulty by the sibling sweeper. Their capricious conduct constantly grinds their weak sibling, which in foreseeable fact will adversely affect the weaker sibling.
The sibling sweeping can take in many forms such as verbal (speech, insult, curse,defaming, swearing, maltreatment, belittling) physical (hurting physically, completely ignoring the weak sibling) emotional and psychological.
Sibling sweeper mental structure is influence by childhood experiences. They are used to receiving more attention or the people around usually favor them when they were young. When they grow up the sweeper attitude was shaped in a wrong way and can’t accept that someone will be greater than them.
The sweeper will denounce their sibling including other people to elevate themselves with the purpose of self-aggrandizement.They do not accept criticism and are commonly hard to deal with. They tend to become over-possessive at times that leads to more conflict. Confronting them will promote unhealthy relationship and will also trigger their suicidal tendency but if you wanna do so you have to weigh all your words and put it in her side.
Wrongfully, people will try not to appreciate the weaker sibling for the benefit of this sweeper. Precisely if they will continue such thing it will become more unfair to the other. However, there is no clear solution other than to do that.
The better method we can used is to analyze this at an early stage. This kind of behavior should be put in their rightful place while they are young and can still be molded because it will be hard to break their horns when they are old.
The common things you will notice is when you are appreciating their weak sibling they will react and inject themselves. They prefer to used the pronoun I, me and mine. This alone warrants that if they can impose their will and get attention they will go beyond their rightful sphere to become abusive. Sooner or later the implications of how you raise your children can be noticeable.
To parents try to check and balance everything because some parents request to carry out personal thingie for the sweeper because they know that they want more attention compare with the other and more often they thought that weaker sibling will understand. But what most people do not know that it can generate negative aspect. The weaker sibling might develop low self-esteem, lack of trust to other people, a feeling of insecurity, unworthy or failure, they might constantly undermine their capabilities.
It seems that this sad pattern is running high even if some were unstated and undocumented. I will discuss the advantage and disadvantage of Sibling Sweeping in my coming post.