How To Comfort Those Who Grief
Losing someone is not that easy, When we lose someone it feels like the whole world stops turning and everything just fall apart. We see that there is no tomorrow and no one can fill that emptiness that our love one has left us. Those emotions are actually a normal healthy response to loss. As a matter of fact, everyone went through that stage but some are not that equipped to deal with it. A lot of writers have delve into this issue because they want to extend knowledge and help so that you or someone you know would be able to provide comfort to those who are grieving. but in this type of situation, it is normal to be unsure what to do, and that is actually the difficult side of it.
Things to do:
1. When you hear a bad news that your friend or someone dear to you losses their love one, the first thing that you have to do is to send a sympathy card or give them a call. You might feel a bit awkward to write or say something maybe it will worsen the situation. Be careful because the person’s who are grieving are very sensitive. They might misinterpret what you will write or say. Never send text message. It is so informal.
2. Stop by or Pay a visit and just offer yourself. It would be nice if you show that you really care. If you do not visit the bereave person he or she might feel that you are avoiding him. This will make him feel isolated and alone.
3. Never force the bereave to open up. Sometimes they want to remain silent and do not want to talk. let them have that moment of silence. You can sit beside them, for them it is comforting.
4. Let the bereave talk about his grief. They need someone who will listen. They might repeat the story over and over again, You must bear with him/her. Retelling the story will lessen their pain. Never interrupt or offer unsolicited advice.
5. Show genuine affection and concern. Offer a reassuring hug, squeeze in the hand, arm around the shoulder or just your shoulder. If the bereave refuse to take it, do not force. It is a normal response of a grieving person.
6. Be patient with the person’s attitude. It is normal for someone to have mood swings. Their attitude are really difficult to handle but you must try and understand them. It is not easy what they are going through.
7. Try to check their situation, call time to time. It is not necessary to do it every hour but atleast make it a point that you call them in a day. It is necessary to make them feel that you are there for them.
8. Let them weep, if you will stop them from crying it will take more time to heal.
9. Be available when during the time they need you.
10. Encourage them to engage in outdoor activities, a walk or socialization, but do not insist if they are not yet ready. It will be more stressful in his/her part if you will force him/her to divert his/her attention right away.
11. Remember there is no timetable for grieving. Give them time to heal, it is not easy for the person to forget the memories they shared.
12. In the first few weeks that he or she is grieving, Do not remove things that reminds him/her of the person. It will aggravate the situation. He or she will feel that you are not allowing him or her to grieve. You might alienate them away from you.
13. Never say words like;
a. I know how you feel.
b. Let it go, get over it, or forget it.
c. He is in a better place now, he is no longer in pain.
d. It is God’s will.
e. It’s alright, you will be ok.
f. Things will go back to normal, or it will get better.
g. Time heals all wounds.
14. Never compare your situation, truthfully you doesn’t know what they are going through, although you have gone through the same experience losing someone but you are undergoing different situations.
15. If the bereave show signs of depression encourage them to seek professional help.