Sibling Rivalry:No Room For Hatred
We expect that everyone is grace with the same qualities. but like our fingers, they are not the same in sizes, One is bigger than the other, while one is longer than the other. Same goes, with siblings everyone possess different characters or attitudes. It is fairly common to see that brothers and sister fight or argue or sometimes tend to adore or detest each other. However, they remain best friends. To make matter worst some weren’t able to become friends. Things like competition or animosity or even verbal abuse from an opposing sibling can occur.
locating the roots of the problem is really hard to find. Sometimes you would wonder why it happened when they are so close with each other, they shared almost everything even when they were young, but as they grow up one might start to change.
Sibling bondage are influenced by their parental treatment, If their parents play favoritism over their children, There is a chance that feeling of hate is building up inside in one child. Sometimes, the effect is different, The child you favor so much grows to seek more attention, she is trying to find the same attention she gets from you to other people, and if she doesn’t find it your child will deliberately felt that he/she is not special and make her bank hate towards her/his sibling .
Another factor that might influence is their birth order, Alfred Adler saw siblings as “striving for significance” within the family and birth order was an important aspect of their personality development. If you are having a baby make sure that you explain it to your child and let her welcome the new member in the family, As a matter of fact, try to make your older child become involved in care of your infant, but of course with your close supervision.
Personality is another factor that can affect their relationship, if your children are fighting over something, don’t ever jump into their sibling spats, or get to know the details who started the fight, let those kids be held responsible for their own action and let them know that they are both responsible for it.
Most of the time people and experiences they gain outside the family can also affects their relationship, The unavoidable situations like comparing, teasing or favoritism by other people often occurred. Parents need to state to their unfavored child that, people have a different opinion. That person might favor your sibling but in some instances other people will favor you.Try and point it out that “You can’t please everybody.” Like, what I stated earlier this behavior of your child comes from you favoring her/him so she can’t accept it, if other people doesn’t treat her the way you do. So the best lesson here, never play favoritism.
According to Child psychologist HO Sylvia Rimm, sibling rivalry is particularly intense when children are very close in age or same gender or the child is intellectually gifted. Sibling rivalry can involve aggression; however, it is not the same as sibling abuse where one child victimizes another.
Sibling rivalry may reach a peak until they are an adult. Although, the reason changes to a more mature reason. But there is a good news, studies shown that those siblings who experience rivalry were enjoying close ties when they reach 60.
According to Kyla Boyse from the University of Michigan, each child in a family competes to define who they are as individuals and they want to show that they are separate from their siblings. The child might do this if they felt that they are not receiving the equal amount of attention.
You need to put up with me to understand me, I believe that siblings are different individuals, but comparing yourself to your other sibling at all cost is not good, I think it is better that you let your sibling live her life and show her individuality. Remember that you and your sibling will never be the same. Sound simple right?
The main idea why I’m sharing you this story, is for you to learn from it. That verbal abuse can sometimes happen inside the family,You see not all people was lucky as some, If verbal abuse takes place, it is damaging to the other person.
Think first before accusing or uttering harsh words that can damage their morals, this people might be like you and might too good to be drag down.verbal abuse is wrong and for me it can never be justified.I can not imagine how someone you trust so much can possibly hurt you.
I will leave you with some things to ponder. Would it not make your heart run cold if your sibling is ailing or lying in her death-bed? Would you not weep if your sibling is dead? don’ t wait for that instant awakening before you realize that someone has a value and worth. what if that inevitable fact occur where you can never turn back the hands of time. I remember a quote “give me roses when I’m alive and not when I’m dead.”
I’m hopeful that after you read this, you will see the worth and value of your siblings.