Sinulle ( excerpt)

I am not here to speak of things that will lead you to distrust people or see the world in a different way. But it is a pleasure to note things like this to broaden our understanding to others, because I know we still have goodness in the depths of our soul.

I want you to meet me and bear the lesson we all have to learn. I live in a lonely, isolated life and find solace in music. Then a genuine friendship develop between two.  In certain days we didn’t exchange a word still we understood each other, without a speech or sign. It makes no pretense understanding him.

The world may stop for a few hours , perhaps days or even months. I didn’t notice anymore. It was the evidence of his presence each day. I wish our heartful talk must not come to soon but it comes too late.

fallen in the line of thoughts, confusing words he have gotten me into. I started wondering, I grasp its meaning as he play his guitar and his finger rest on the strings.I uttered in silence. “I may have heard that way in my soul”.

He ask me to come over, Then I come and stand at his door but he heard nothing of my footstep. Now I am here and yet remain unseen.

I am seized with embarrassment when he ask me things. I stammer….hesitated and made him wait before I answer. I dunno if there is truth in every word he said or just another make-believe. It is really hard to understand. Maybe I’m just wasting my breath.

Worse comes to worst, It’s doubtful how much longer he will stay…He said good night … til he fades away.

How troubled I am that night were much have been said and done. .. I know shortly he will find a way to say goodbye… All those things still lingers in my memory. World falls apart as I became motionless and weak. I am alive but  barely breathing.

Sitting here  and a few hours  walk, waiting without feeling anything as the night become bitterly cold. I think I’ll go crazy.. part of my inmost heart still pray and long for that friend but part of mind wants to laugh… I never been silly in my life.

I stayed awake with single hours of sleep. I keep contemplating as thoughts flood me. I guess I need some time off  alone, as I think about it. I felt the earth falter under my feet. I guess my childish ways can not live without him.

I think he ought to stay even for a while, but my pride held me back and I lack the strength to carry them out. After a period of realization. I know it will be better if he will leave me because I might make him tired each day.

Awakening starts to shake me… Although I know I can not turn back the hands of time and hope we never meet or we can not retreat in ourselves. but just like the old days. I will be perfectly well again. I dunno when but I must take others word for it, though it is impossible to take than wallow in misery.